Last week at this time we were winding down from a week at the beach. It was quite a fun week. We went to the beach and I had fun watching Hannah jump over waves and draw pictures in the sand with her feet. I was reminded of the special bond between Hannah and Dylan and am so thankful for both of them. They both are incredible people that have their own separate path in life, but when they connect, I see a beautiful bond.

While staying at the condo, Hannah was making friends any moment she could and we met a wonderful family that was on vacation from Atlanta. Hannah connected immediately with the oldest daughter and they played together every moment they could. I am so amazed at how much Hannah came along in her swimming while we were there. When we arrived, she had a hard time getting her body far enough under water so she could dive or do an underwater handstand. By the time we left, she was doing an incredible handstand underwater and I know it was due to her watching her new friends swim and play.

I wish I had some pictures of some of things that Dylan was able to do. He enjoyed playing golf with my dad and my brother and from what I hear, he had a fabulous time and can’t wait to do it again.  I’m really happy that Dylan is able to pursue the things that make him happy and that he can do so well.  Thanks to my dad and brother for supporting him in his love of golf!

We were able to spend some time at a shopping area called Broadway at the Beach. There are a few rides there that Hannah likes to ride each time we go and was affectionately calling it the ‘circus’. Not quite a circus, but hey, it works for me She rode the teacups and the whales (all electronic, I assure you) and the moved on to the fountain in the center of the shopping area. She LOVED it! She jumped in there, dress and all and had a blast. In fact, we went back a few days later and were more prepared with bathing suit and all and she was a bit more timid. She said she liked it better with the dress on.

We were able to spend lots of time with family, which I love…it’s good to connect with those that have known you your whole life and to hope those connections will last, even if you do go on separate paths in your life. The love is still there and will always be…this is something that I hope they know. My parents, brother and sister-in-love, aunt and uncle…they ALL are a blessing to me.

Hannah and I spent a few hours going back to the ‘circus’, but it was a bit hot, so we ended up going into a wonderful store, called Yours and Mayan and we were able to buy these scarves in honor of my friend, Lauren. It was fun just hanging out with my daughter. She is a gem.

So we ended our time just playing together in the pool and with all the other families gone, we had the pool to ourselves for most of the day. Hannah was able to swim as much as she wanted and we had lots of joyful moments together. I am so thankful for moments such as these and would not trade them for any amount of money you could offer me. These moments are priceless.

This week we want to go on several play dates and visit Tweetsie Railroad in the NC mountains.  We’ll be visiting with Hannah’s first foster mom and her family.  We’re looking forward to connecting again.

The kids are each pursuing their own paths! Dylan started guitar lessons last week and will be playing golf this Friday–his passions! Hannah seeks out friends any chance she gets, loves singing and dancing and is overall a fun gal to have around!

I am learning to be a giver of love, to set boundaries in those relationships that aren’t serving me well and to realize the truth of who I am in Christ.

I am struggling with organizing my time between projects (my own) and my kids’ desired activities.  Sometimes, my projects have to be put on hold so that they can know that I am fully present with them. I am okay with that, but I am trying to find a flow that works for everyone.

This week is the first time in a long time that a play date I planned resulted in lots of people attending! Yay–so excited to see lots of people coming together–kids AND adults!

I have written a post on our foster blog, Love Each Child, in honor of our daughter’s birthday—She is 2 today!!

We are thrilled to be able to spend this day, the day of her birth, with her. Two years ago we did not even know she existed–2 years ago we were starting our homeschooling journey–2 years ago we celebrated Steve’s adoption of my son–2 years ago we celebrated our 2nd anniversary in Galax, VA, spending two years hoping for a biological child and then being led a year later to the idea of foster care. Wow, what can happen in a few years’ time!!

I hope you will go check out our latest post—we are in definite party mode!!

Well, here I am, once again, beginning a new journey. It feels good, but somehow not quite complete. It is only in the beginning stages, literally hours, but still a little surreal.

I ended my time working as a teacher in the school system today. It was a decision that has been in process for several years now. When we decided that public school wasn’t working out too well for our son and we decided to homeschool him, I began thinking of changing my path as well. So, two years later, I am at that “jumping off” point. I know it is what I am to do, for myself and my family and most importantly, it is what the Holy Spirit has led me to do. The feelings that I am having at the moment are a little like I am walking away from my identity as a “teacher of children with special needs” and walking toward completely embracing my identity as a “follower of Christ”.

I think the natural feelings I am having right now are just that, “natural”. They will pass soon and the picture of who I am and who I am going to be will begin to look much clearer to me. My family needs me—all of me. And I need to be completely surrendered to my Father, who has many wonderful things planned for me and for my family.

There is freedom in following the leading of the Holy Spirit. There are also unknown experiences awaiting. I like that….I like knowing I can totally trust my Father with EVERYTHING in my life and know, have confidence and be assured in his love for me.

I already see things a little clearer by simply writing these words…

Just a word to let you know the current standing with our foster/adoption journey. Thank you to those who have been praying for us through this adventure. It isn’t quite over yet, but we are so very close to our dreams becoming a reality!

http://www.loveeachchild.com/2008/02/18/a-breath-of-fresh-air/

I feel like I have really neglected this blog. It’s not intentional… I don’t have any reservations about writing, no desire to take a break from it…..it has just turned out to be on the lower end of my list. I also have other blogs that have been gathering dust as well. Our family blog, my homeschool blog, our foster adoption blog….all are being neglected at this point in time. It also is not that I don’t have multiple thoughts running through my head at any given time… they just end up being either thoughts that stay in my head or thoughts that I share with the person closest to me…and that is where it ends. So, if for some reason you have been waiting for me to share my thoughts, I am sorry the posts have been sporadic. I also thought I would share what is taking my attention at the moment:

In August, Steve and I made the decision that I would return to work half-time. I had taken a year off from my teaching job in the school system, so that we could homeschool our son. I had a desire to be with our son at home and a desire to use the skills and talents that I have acquired over the years with other children as well. So, going back into the school system half time seemed to be able to fill that desire. I could work in the morning (while Steve is teaching a few subjects to our son) and I would return after noon to complete the remaining subjects (when Steve started his day at ASU). Sounded great in theory, but it has actually been a hard schedule to accomplish. We’re doing it, but we are also exhausted. I had forgotten how much of your life is invested in the people you spend time trying to help. A half time teaching job doesn’t really exist. It does on paper, but in reality, I have brought work home with me many nights since August.

The other aspect of this schedule is that we don’t want our son to get shorthanded. We want him to be fulfilled and know that he is important. So, with this schedule, we make sure that we are spending time together. We’re taking a pottery class together and spending weekends as a family going on trips…it seems like we are always going somewhere!

So, this should explain my absence here on the blog. It is not wanted but it is needed at the present time. I am sure that life will begin to balance out soon for us as we adjust to new schedules and possible changes in our lives. I may have time to blog and yet I may not….and for now that is the reality of my live right now.

In all this we know that God’s love for us is real. He is showing us new opportunities and is blessing us all the time! I will look forward to sharing all that He is doing in our lives very soon. We continue to look for opportunities to love and bless others as we have been blessed by God. Sometimes it is a hard task, but looking for those moments of sharing the love of God with others is really what drives our thoughts and actions.

I really would like to continue writing about life in Christ from an artistic standpoint. I am reminded every day of the creativity of God. Hopefully, you will be reading a post about this soon!

Be blessed in your walk with Him,

All of us go through situations in our life that are hard. Each day presents a new challenge the moment we awake. Some may see that challenge as trying to find the answer to the tough questions. Such as: “Will God heal me today?”, “Will I be able to find a job to support my family?”, “How will I face the person at work that is tormenting me?”, the list could go on and on. We all have very unique and interesting circumstances.

But I am wondering if maybe we are missing the challenge here. Could it be that the challenge is not in the specific circumstance, but how we deal with what comes our way each day?

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.” I Peter 5:6-7

We are encouraged to present before God our cares. Actually, it is stated we are cast ALL our cares upon Him. Are we really taking this seriously? How often do we attempt to take on our own cares? It is the natural inclination, is it not? To say “I need to do this to make things better” is such an automatic response for each of us. But…We have the freedom available to us that enables us to turn from our cares. Why do we not take advantage of the reality that was given through the cross of Christ? Are we telling Him that it wasn’t good enough and we need Him to do more?

There is a situation from my own life that I’d like to illustrate for you. My husband and I have been trying to conceive a child for 3 years without success. Every time we looked into the eyes of a pregnant teenager or of a woman that did not want the child she was carrying, we wondered why this was happening. We questioned ourselves and yes we even tried to find a way to “fix it”. But today, are walking in the peace of Christ. We are traveling through new and exciting experiences. Have we resigned ourselves to the idea of not conceiving a child? Absolutely not. We have chosen to embrace each day as an opportunity to show love to others, in whatever way God places those experiences before us. Right now, that opportunity is the possibility of being foster parents in our community. So, that is what we are embracing at this moment with the knowledge that new experiences could be placed before us as well.

So, I encourage you today to listen to this important advice:

“Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen” I Peter 5:10-11

My friend, Amy, has written a great post today called The Wall. Go there and be encouraged. Thanks Amy for rekindling the passion in which I wrote this post!

In my previous post, Systems, I discussed some thoughts about a type of system that many of us take part in, that is, the traditional church system. I alluded to the fact that my husband and I have discussed other systems as well and I’d like to share my thoughts with you.

The second system that has gotten my wheels turning a bit, is the educational system. This is a difficult one for me to tackle because I feel that I have been raised in the middle of a system that I didn’t even think to question, as I have written about in my post, Identity. But in the past few years, I have had reason to question how this particular system works. (or how it doesn’t work). The main motivation for asking those questions was after realizing that it wasn’t working for my own child. No matter how hard I tried to force him to fit that mold, it wasn’t going to happen. Now, that we have made the change to teaching him apart from the school system, I see so much progress. And He is evolving each day into the man that God has created him to be. It is a very inspiring transformation.

I would have to say that my main problem with how the system operates is that children are not allowed the freedom to follow their natural bent or curiosity. They must fit the “norm” and if they don’t, there must be something seriously wrong. Now on the flip side of the coin, I don’t believe that children in the public schools are expected to be respectful. Yes, it is included in the rules of the classroom posted on the wall, but it does not penetrate their heart. How could it? How can one teacher of 20+ students possibly know and be able to speak to the heart of each child in his/her classroom? (As I write this, I can see the correlation between this system and the previous one I have written about.)

Here’s an interesting perspective on Margaret Spelling’s views on this system:

[scs_embedcomedycentral]FlashVars=’config=http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/xml/data_synd.jhtml?vid=87387%26myspace=false’ xsrc=’http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/syndicated_player/index.jhtml’ quality=’high’ bgcolor=’#006699′ width=’340′ height=’325′ name=’comedy_player’ align=’middle’ allowScriptAccess=’always’ allownetworking=’external’ type=’application/x-shockwave-flash’ pluginspage=’http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer’[/scs_embedcomedycentral]

My main point is that what we are able to see in our child is where his heart is, and frankly, for the last 9 months, it has not been pretty. But we are beginning to see changes, positive changes that if he carries them throughout his life, will make an impact on those who come in contact with him.

What does a mother do to express her love?

When I came into motherhood, I had a picture of how things would be. You know the picture I’m talking about. Endless nights of reading and playing, children obediently following directions and life filled with smiles and laughter. Hmmm—Something else happened on the way to the nursery!

What I found out is that my perfect picture was not necessarily destroyed, but was molded into a picture that brought more clarity. See, what I was bringing to motherhood was an idea that I created. But, what I found out was that my son was not another “me”. He was created by God to be an individual. I can’t make him into the man I picture. God is molding and shaping him into the man He wants him to be.

Perspective change– I see my child for who he is and all that he has brought into my life. Just when I think I have figured him out, he does something different. (This keeps me on my toes!) Just when I think I can’t handle another wild idea, he hugs me and tells me he loves me. (this encourages me to be thankful for his love). Just when I think he is still a child, I look at him and see a young man. (this helps me to appreciate each moment).

How do I show a child that has brought such meaning to my life, the depth of my love for him?

I can hold him, tell him I love him, spend time together (for a teenager, sometimes that’s not desirable!). These are the ways I know to show a tangible love to him. But what I desire most is to lead him to a relationship with Christ. And I don’t think that means leading him in a prayer and walking away thinking everything is taken care of. I believe that means living a life before him that shows my love for Christ—showing him that everyone has worth, relationships do matter and loving one another is our true calling—all else just falls into place.

This is how I want to love my child, with the love that Jesus has shown me. Then, His perfect picture can become clear and all will see why this child was created.

“Train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 NIV

This is a verse that I have heard over the years, and when I heard it (because this is what I was taught), I believed it meant that if I trained my child in the ways of God, in the end he would not stray from those ways. As I have looked at it closer, the verse seems to say much more to me. One version of that scripture says:

“Train up a child in the way he should go[and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 AMP

In keeping with his individual gift or bent… this seems to indicate we should be directing our children to discover their gifts or bents in addition to encouraging them to seek God’s direction in using those gifts to glorify Him.

While this may not seem to surprising to some, it came as a new revelation to me. Sometimes as parents, we tend to have thoughts in our minds of what our children should become. We have thoughts of experiences, friends and social situations that fit our idea of what “our” children should be doing and what they should emulate. We have thoughts of college and acceptable vocations. What I am realizing , though, is that these children that we have been graciously given by God, are His and He will direct them in areas so that their gifts can be used to serve others.

Is it just me or is this knowledge freeing to others as well? To know that our job is to help our children discover their gift, encourage them in that gift and trust God to manage the rest, brings me such peace.

We went to a homeschool conference this past weekend and my son was asked what his “bent” was by another adult. It was encouraging to know that I was not surprised at his answer: music. He said without hesitation, “I like to play my guitar”. I know, as his mom, I must encourage him in that direction. The fact that he has incredible skill in this area is confirmation that this particular gift will be a continuing passion in his life.