This song had my attention the first time I heard it.  It reminded me of my friends that struggle with their identity in Christ, not seeing themselves as Christ sees them and living in a constant state of fear and unworthiness.  This is my gift to my friends who struggle in this area–an encouragement to remember who they are– and not only are they loved by me, but also by the one that created them, sent His son to die for them and wants them to live in the freedom that His love provides.

…to myself

    The sheep that are My own hear and are listening to My voice; and I know them, and they follow Me.

And I give them eternal life, and they shall never lose it or perish throughout the ages. [To all eternity they    shall never by any means be destroyed.] And no one is able to snatch them out of My hand.

My Father, Who has given them to Me, is greater and mightier than all [else]; and no one is able to snatch [them] out of the Father’s hand.

I and the Father are One.  John 10:27-30 AMP

Thank you, Father, for your words of LIFE.

The music that was heard in my house today:

I have not been very active on this blog lately–partially because of trying to focus on my tasks at home, but mostly because I have had quite the writer’s block!  I feel that I really want to share some things that have been going on with me personally in hopes that it will be an encouragement to you as the reader of this blog.Over the past few months I have have felt myself going in a downward spiral–some days I would seem to be “up”, but I was continuing to go deeper and deeper into a self-absorbed depression.  I was anxious most of the time and had very unrealistic and untrue thoughts and doubts about the people closest to me.  I was beginning to come to the conclusion that I was really losing touch with reality.

Then yesterday, God spoke to my heart.  He showed me an area in my life that I had allowed to become a hindrance to a close relationship with Him.  That area has to do with my identity.  Since coming home to be with my family full time, I have been trying to replace the identity that I had at work with things and people around me now.

But those things can’t replace the identity I have in Christ.  Knowing I am His child–that I am loved and cherished by my Father–that my identity comes from being in fellowship with Him–and nothing else can satisfy me as much as a relationship with Him can–this is what God spoke to me yesterday.

As I was sharing this with my husband who, by the way, is so wonderfully patient and beautiful (inside and out), I felt a sense of peace totally consume me.  The act of recognizing this issue in my life, speaking it to those around me and allowing it to really penetrate my heart and completely basking in the love that God has for me has brought that peace to my heart.
And then this morning in my inbox….

How are we going to get a life that has no lust, no self-interest, and is not sensitive to the ridicule of others? How will we have the type of love that “is kind . . . is not provoked, [and] thinks no evil”? ( 1 Corinthians 13:4-5  ). The only way is by allowing nothing of the old life to remain, and by having only simple, perfect trust in God— such a trust that we no longer want God’s blessings, but only want God Himself.

This is where I am choosing to live–wanting only God to be my source of identity–I fellowship with Him daily and am complete in Him.  Only then can I be the absolute best wife, mother and friend that I can be.

*excerpt above was taken from My Utmost for His Highest Daily Devotional.  To read the entire devotional, go here.

*Thanks to Public Domain Pictures for the use of the rainbow photo

Today is a special day. It is a day to celebrate another year of marriage to my wonderful husband–four years, in fact.

Our story is one of God’s grace and love. Steve and I have been through much in our early adult lives, but through God’s eyes, He was able to see through what the world would describe as unworthy and clear the way for our paths to cross. Through His grace, we were able to connect and we immediately began seeing the hand of God on our lives together. Many would question whether God could bless our life together, based on our past experiences, but we chose to listen to God’s voice instead of the voice of fear. And we have been blessed because of it…

We are amazed every day at God’s provision for our lives—not just material things, the things that money can’t buy, the things that matter most to us and touch the very core of who we are.

So, today, I express my love for my husband, the one chosen by God to complete the rest of my life on this earth. And I express my love and endless gratitude to God, for taking one so unworthy, yet seeing what could be accomplished in these two lives together.

It is truly a honor to be living this life with you, Steve.

All my love,

Well, here I am, once again, beginning a new journey. It feels good, but somehow not quite complete. It is only in the beginning stages, literally hours, but still a little surreal.

I ended my time working as a teacher in the school system today. It was a decision that has been in process for several years now. When we decided that public school wasn’t working out too well for our son and we decided to homeschool him, I began thinking of changing my path as well. So, two years later, I am at that “jumping off” point. I know it is what I am to do, for myself and my family and most importantly, it is what the Holy Spirit has led me to do. The feelings that I am having at the moment are a little like I am walking away from my identity as a “teacher of children with special needs” and walking toward completely embracing my identity as a “follower of Christ”.

I think the natural feelings I am having right now are just that, “natural”. They will pass soon and the picture of who I am and who I am going to be will begin to look much clearer to me. My family needs me—all of me. And I need to be completely surrendered to my Father, who has many wonderful things planned for me and for my family.

There is freedom in following the leading of the Holy Spirit. There are also unknown experiences awaiting. I like that….I like knowing I can totally trust my Father with EVERYTHING in my life and know, have confidence and be assured in his love for me.

I already see things a little clearer by simply writing these words…

What does it mean to be a believer in Christ? Should we follow the example that he set before us?

A song that has resonated with us in the past year or so, is certainly still speaking to us today…..

I am paying close attention to this stanza:

’cause my Jesus bled and died

He spent his time with thieves and liars

He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant

So which one do you want to be?

If this is true, and I believe that it is, how can we ever push to have our rights validated? How can we seek to be correct in everything? How can we seek our own purposes?

When there are so many people in this world that are crying out to just be loved, how can I turn my back on them? No matter what their sin…..they still are loved by God. They do matter to Him. How can I love them any less?

My prayer is that I would never get to a point of being looked at by God as arrogant and self serving—may I always be open to loving whomever is placed in my path and that I would do so by the example of My Jesus.

Listening to the radio this morning, I heard a familiar song, one that I hadn’t heard in quite a while. As I concentrated on the lyrics, I was reminded of how fragile life can be. I was also reminded that without a relationship with Christ, how lost we are….and how confusing and difficult this world can be to us. Thank God for His grace and his love that is with us at all times. What an incredible gift….may we live each day basking in His love for us.

My, it has been a while since I have written here! Life has certainly gotten busy and I am finding my time just slipping through my fingers. We are in the process of adopting a beautiful little girl, which you can read about here and I am entering the end of my time in the school system. After the month of May, I will be walking a little bit lighter and how good that will feel!! Until then, I will sprinkle my sporadic thoughts here and there.

There are some thoughts that I would like to just put there really for the sake of getting them off my chest and if it provokes any thoughts in you, I would love to hear them.

I have read some thoughts recently about what the “biblical” Christian or church should be doing in the lives of others. Most of the content relies heavily on speaking biblical truths to people no matter how much it hurts, when–of course– speaking it in love, because the heart behind this biblical motivation is to encourage them in their relationship with God.

My question is this…

Should we be describing our way as “biblical”? Isn’t that implying that all other ways are not biblical—and isn’t that placing ourselves above others–and these are brothers and sisters in Christ, mind you–and making them feel intimidated, guilty and unloved? It seems that Jesus’ goal was to bring people to himself and love them unconditionally– wherever they are in their life.

I am reminded of the woman who was caught in the act of adultery and was face to face with Jesus. Here is how he responded:

The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” John 8:3-11

I read this as an example of speaking to another in love. I do not think that throwing people’s sin in their faces is an act of love. Jesus showed love to this woman and yes, gave her a direction to leave her life of sin, but after seeing the love come through the eyes of Jesus, why wouldn’t she?

In this same passage, Jesus speaks to the Pharisees very bluntly, which I believe is an example to make note of when people are judging others by human standards:

“Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid, for I know where I came from and where I am going. But you have no idea where I come from or where I am going. You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one. But if I do judge, my decisions are right, because I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent me. In your own Law it is written that the testimony of two men is valid. I am one who testifies for myself; my other witness is the Father, who sent me.” John 8: 14-18

Jesus backed up these words by not placing judgments on others. He sets the example for us…the life of a follower of Christ should not be to judge, but to show love. That is our role.

But let’s really get down to the definition of Christian….what does this mean? In my opinion, if we call ourselves Christians, we should be just that…..followers of Christ. A follower of his teachings, his example, his life. I’m not sure this means being a follower of a particular doctrine or procedure for living. If so, where does the Holy Spirit fit into our lives? What if the Spirit is speaking to us to accomplish something that goes against the grain of our structure? Do we ignore the voice of God?

My intent in this post is not to point a finger at anyone. I am simply someone seeking to know what it means to live a life in a deep and meaningful relationship with Christ and with those in my home and community. I just tend to believe that the idea of condemning and judging others with the label of a “biblical” Christian, goes against everything that Jesus taught and lived out.

Just a word to let you know the current standing with our foster/adoption journey. Thank you to those who have been praying for us through this adventure. It isn’t quite over yet, but we are so very close to our dreams becoming a reality!

http://www.loveeachchild.com/2008/02/18/a-breath-of-fresh-air/