…to myself

    The sheep that are My own hear and are listening to My voice; and I know them, and they follow Me.

And I give them eternal life, and they shall never lose it or perish throughout the ages. [To all eternity they    shall never by any means be destroyed.] And no one is able to snatch them out of My hand.

My Father, Who has given them to Me, is greater and mightier than all [else]; and no one is able to snatch [them] out of the Father’s hand.

I and the Father are One.  John 10:27-30 AMP

Thank you, Father, for your words of LIFE.

I have not been very active on this blog lately–partially because of trying to focus on my tasks at home, but mostly because I have had quite the writer’s block!  I feel that I really want to share some things that have been going on with me personally in hopes that it will be an encouragement to you as the reader of this blog.Over the past few months I have have felt myself going in a downward spiral–some days I would seem to be “up”, but I was continuing to go deeper and deeper into a self-absorbed depression.  I was anxious most of the time and had very unrealistic and untrue thoughts and doubts about the people closest to me.  I was beginning to come to the conclusion that I was really losing touch with reality.

Then yesterday, God spoke to my heart.  He showed me an area in my life that I had allowed to become a hindrance to a close relationship with Him.  That area has to do with my identity.  Since coming home to be with my family full time, I have been trying to replace the identity that I had at work with things and people around me now.

But those things can’t replace the identity I have in Christ.  Knowing I am His child–that I am loved and cherished by my Father–that my identity comes from being in fellowship with Him–and nothing else can satisfy me as much as a relationship with Him can–this is what God spoke to me yesterday.

As I was sharing this with my husband who, by the way, is so wonderfully patient and beautiful (inside and out), I felt a sense of peace totally consume me.  The act of recognizing this issue in my life, speaking it to those around me and allowing it to really penetrate my heart and completely basking in the love that God has for me has brought that peace to my heart.
And then this morning in my inbox….

How are we going to get a life that has no lust, no self-interest, and is not sensitive to the ridicule of others? How will we have the type of love that “is kind . . . is not provoked, [and] thinks no evil”? ( 1 Corinthians 13:4-5  ). The only way is by allowing nothing of the old life to remain, and by having only simple, perfect trust in God— such a trust that we no longer want God’s blessings, but only want God Himself.

This is where I am choosing to live–wanting only God to be my source of identity–I fellowship with Him daily and am complete in Him.  Only then can I be the absolute best wife, mother and friend that I can be.

*excerpt above was taken from My Utmost for His Highest Daily Devotional.  To read the entire devotional, go here.

*Thanks to Public Domain Pictures for the use of the rainbow photo

I have come across several writings this week and they all had much to say on the subject of struggles, pain and healing. A huge amount of focus was given to struggles and pain, while unfortunately, not enough emphasis was given to the subject of healing. There also seems to be a common theme among popular christian speakers and artists that place an emphasis on struggles as a christian. (Please understand I am not talking about christians being persecuted for their faith)

Each time I hear this message in a song or hear it spoken or written, it seems to give me an uneasy feeling. Why is this? Why do I feel an urge to scream when this message is taught?

After being brought out of slavery, the Israelites were grumbling because they could not find any water to drink. Moses cried out to God and He provided sweet water from a piece of wood that was thrown in with the bitter water. Then, God told them:

“If you listen carefully to the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, who heals you.”
Exodus 15:26

Then, the Israelites were brought to Elim, where there were 12 springs and 70 palm trees. Remember, they were in the desert! God provided what they needed at that time and more. He kept them from being thirsty and also provided a cool place to camp. How can we ever doubt God’s desire to provide everything that we need, mind, body and spirit, after reading this incredible story?

I have had my own share of challenges lately, so I am not writing this as someone who doesn’t understand what it means to be in pain or to suffer. I have felt it! But what I am to focus on? The pain, the suffering? I can’t.

Jesus told the parable about the shepherd and his flock:

“I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” John 10:1-5

Then Jesus said to them:

“I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. All who ever came before me were thiefs and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate, all who enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:7-10

This passage reminds me to cling to Him, not the pain, not the struggle, but to Him. It is only through Him that I will have the life that has been provided and have that life to it’s fullest. When we cling to the struggles and then speak only those things that pertain to the struggle, are we not placing ourselves in a position of making it difficult to turn away from it and in the end, be healed? If we have created an identity with the struggle, will we even want to be healed?

My choice- To cling to God, no matter what occurs. I would much rather live a life believing for the miraculous touch of the hand of God, than believe it is His will for me to live a life of pain and suffering.

The thief steals. Jesus Christ came so that I might live!